I'll always know what I want; and I'll always want what I can't have.
Considering the fact I just came from a cast party that resulted in me staying out all night, witnessing two of my friends react to acid (no, I didn't take any), and sleeping over at one of the cast members' houses, you'd think I'd have nothing but awesome things to write but, truthfully, it all feels quite bittersweet. I spent the entire night playing "Mr. Third-Wheel" while one of my friends (whose name I won't mention) spent the entire night trying to make-out with one of the wardrobe girls from our Hairspray production; they did eventually end up making out, but it turned out not to be worth it as my friend has no intention of actually being with this girl (he's not very interested at all). I also spent the entire night with my stage makeup still on and I didn't end up getting a chance to wash it off until just an hour ago when I came home. Even more than all of that, I spent the first half of the night texting my ex-ex-girlfriend who told me she would "jump on the chance" to date me again if she wasn't already currently in a relationship and, when I responded with a happy face, she inquired how I felt about her ("you're friend-zoned... which sucks... but if you get it off your chest it might help") and then I indulged in what seemed like a fruitless conversation about how much I miss her (which I didn't outright say but I think there was definitely that underlying implication).
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| A somewhat accurate portrait of my ex-ex-girlfriend. Btw, I did not draw this picture. |
Y'know it doesn't help that my ex-ex-ex- girlfriend wants to date me again either; I really have no interest in her beyond being friends at this point, and my friend Danielle Harris wants me and my ex-ex-ex to hookup which is just a teenie bit of pressure. Meanwhile, in BMT, I wrote Emma Heidenheim a "warm fuzzy" (which is basically a little note with a compliment in it) with my number in it because I really like her and I thought it'd be a good idea. NOW, I'm almost certain it was a horrible idea and I'm going to take it back (well, rip the number off of it anyways). There's also another girl in our class who keeps leading me, Zach, and Gonzalo all on; Gonzalo says he wants to be the first one out of all of us to make a move, but I'm really thinking I might just go for it before he gets the chance... Then again, I've never exactly been the "best" at move-making, but BMT has really opened up my social life and I've learned a lot from the advice and teachings of Zach and also Gonzalo (oh, the irony). Nonetheless, I haven't entirely been sure of my own feelings considering how many girls have suddenly entered my social life, and I certainly haven't found a way to decide who I should pursue (or if I should pursue at all)! All in all, my love life continues to get extremely complicated (refer to the sub-heading at the top for further info) while my social life blooms... ^_^
Optimism is, and always will be, key.
Anyways, last night was the semi-closing night of Hairspray ("semi" because we have a bonus show to perform on June 1st) and I can honestly say that I'm very proud of my work and all of my achievements this year. Finally, after much anticipation, my family got to see Hairspray on Friday night and it felt great to have lots of love and support in the audience (from people I knew and loved); they enjoyed the show and I had so much fun performing for them! I have to say that, despite my romantic troubles and the many stressful aspects of being in a musical, I'm having a lot of fun, meeting so many new people, partying out, and learning so much from every experience that I'm very grateful to have my life. It's definitely become a really emotional time in my life and I just keep trying to stay as optimistic as possible despite the obstacles that may stand in my path!
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| BMT's production of Hairspray; Run and Tell That. |
I think I'll conclude today by writing that Insanity's Bride is really starting to develop and I'm happy to be working with such wonderful people as Matt and Sharon. I'd also like to add that I am currently procrastinating in regards to an English project I should be doing right now... but that's just how I am. Anywho, this is The Fro signing off so, until next time, keep your hair and your optimism high; life is grand as long as you believe!
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