So, currently I'm sitting in the classroom where my period 4 bio class usually takes place, next to my girlfriend and pondering the reality of everything. I've never felt so alive and I've never been more scared in my entire life! Don't get me wrong, I'm not scared because things aren't going as I desired, in fact, it's the complete opposite; this could easily be the best time of my young life! Like I said, I've never felt so alive...so vulnerable yet so adventurous; my future is lining up quite nicely. That being said, there will always be struggles and not everything will come to me as quickly as I may want it to but, nonetheless, I can rest easy in the reassuring eyes of Charlotte, the therapeutic and creative processes of my writing (and hold onto that cause I'll be discussing it after this), and the academic path I pave as I weave my way towards the end of high school, which is actually not that far away... Holy hell...
Anyways, moving on, November is national novel writing month and I, along with my friend Sharon and my girlfriend Charlotte, are participating! I'm excited to say that I'm already 15018 words into my novel and I look forward to writing more. On that topic, I gave what I have of my novel to my environmental science teacher, Mr. Meyer, and he's going to give it a read and then show it to his daughter, who's a working actress in Toronto and who enjoys writing screenplays; if she likes it, he'll bring her in to sit down and talk with me about the project... who knows, I might be the next Mark Millar when it comes to writing (*cough*Kick-Ass *cough*). It's a great opportunity to share my work with a fellow writer and see what fresh, new angle she can bring to it (if she likes it that is). If you'd like to know more about my novel, I encourage you to head on over to my page on nanowrimo.org and check it out (although you'll have to make your own account if you want to see mine):
I suppose saying it's been a crazy start to the year would be an understatement; there's been a mix of good and bad, but the good things look like they'll ultimately outweigh the bad, in the end. Even in the face of any possible negativity, I know how to find the good in things, no matter how silly I may sound doing it; it's something I've always done; it's just the kind of person I am and I can't help it... Alas, I am also a hypocrite in this sense though; I am a very emotional person and am saddened easily (but it seems rather random...the tiniest things that are beyond my control or prevention; or, simply, because of how much I've seen happen in the past year). Luckily though, I have been given reason not to be sad now that I am with Charlotte... maybe because I have less time to be alone and think about sad stuff. Jeez... It's only now that I finally realize how depressing I truly was for a few months there; from the end of July through September, I really just didn't know where anything was going anymore. I'm happy though. Happy because I have my first (and hopefully last and only) true love (and she feels the same way. Hi, Blog-i-sphere :) - Charlotte).
On a slightly related note, Charlotte and I saw the film Cloud Atlas (based on the book by David Mitchell) and I must say... It was simply superb! Everything about this film is truly astounding, with amazing performances from every actor and actress. Anyways, I won't get into it too much, as I plan on reviewing that film, and Skyfall, in a separate post. I have to sign off now, as I just picked this entry up after leaving it as a draft for about a week (my bad); I will return to write my reviews and maybe some extra entries later this week (probably the weekend). This is the Fro, signing off! Stay Classy, dear readers.
- Btw, if you haven't seen it yet, watch the new GTA V trailer. You won't be sorry...
So, today I'm sitting in Computer Programming and just chillin' and doing my work (mostly) as I usually do and I just thought I'd write a quick blog entry. Even though my friend Sara occassionally peeks at my screen, my other friend Jesse comments random nonsense from time-to-time, and my gorgeous girlfriend texts me about how I should write a whole entry about her, I continue to write in the hope that I can say something worth value at some point. Nonetheless, this entry was never intended to be much more than a simple update: the Thanksgiving weekend just ended and I'm feeling a little weary about what I may have missed in Biology class on Friday (as I was co-leading in the annual Raider Games with my girlfriend). Anyways, I just thought I'd write something quick. Now, back to Programming!
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I have a new girlfriend!!!!! Yes, that's right, your's truly has finally found someone who he can talk to and be with almost everyday; she makes me extremely happy and I'm so glad that I got to know her better over these last few days... I never wanna let go of her. Her name is Charlotte. So, my dear reader, this means you won't have to read about my precarious infatuation with Hazel or my constant pursuit of Emma Heidenheim's attention anymore. To be completely honest, she makes me completely forget and erases the feelings I had for those two long ago and she supports me and wants to understand me... and I want to support and understand her.
It's like this relationship came out of nowhere which, I suppose, proves the theory that the best relationships you'll ever get into will come from somewhere you weren't looking or at a time when you've given up your endless search for love's undying gratification. For me, the search for someone had produced a plethora of candidates and each person I've considered dating has their own unique qualities that either I can relate to or that I find interesting. That being said, I gave up my search for a relationship because I realized that was the wrong way to go about things; you can't just strike up relationships out of thin air, or just choose a suitor like some dating game, you gotta work towards them and let them happen naturally through good chemistry and communication. Charlotte stood out because not only did I like her but she liked me as well, and there seemed to be an instant chemistry between us that struck up as if out of some happenstance of fate. She is extremely knowledgeable and active in the community; she's always there to lend a helping hand and she's a lot of fun to be with. Anyways, that's all I really want to say about her at the moment because I feel like you might get a little bored reading on and on about what I think of her but she's fantastic.
Awareness
Well, tomorrow is a day for awareness of Self Abuse (which has become quite common among teens around my age and thousands of people across the world and in this very nation). In an effort to raise awareness, students will be writing Keep Fighting on their arms and I expect you'll do the same (I know I will be). It's something that affects us all really... I know, in the past, I've contemplated hurting myself even killing myself, but then I realized that what I was going through at the time wasn't even as big a deal as I was making it out to be. I realized that I still had a wonderful family life, amazingly supportive friends, and a lot of achievements to be proud of. Now, I have so much more to be proud of: Hairspray, all the friends I made in BMT, all the friends I've made in Beal Singers, the teachers who I've impressed, the awards that I've won, and now a beautiful, intelligent girlfriend who cares for me and who I care about very much. I'm glad I chose not to hurt myself because it might have affected all of the achievements I've made, all of the people I've met... I'm glad I'm still here.
"Shawn Harding approves this message. And if you don't like it.............. no pancakes for Jenny."
All These Things That I've Done
It's been a crazy couple of weeks since school started. I have no idea how things have suddenly become so good but, now that they have, it's making the rest of my school year look wonderful. Sharon and I have discussed continuing work on Insanity's Bride in Matt's absence and we've kicked around a couple of ideas but, until we can arrange a full-on get together, things have been put on hold; meanwhile, I've been trying to integrate a melody I used in my overture for Insanity into a solo song for one of the villains. Another project, besides the numerous projects I've received from my teachers, that I've been gathering ideas to add to is my controversial tale called Hitler Saves Hanukkah. The story of Hitler Save Hanukkah is intentionally absurd and features some very offensive ideas and such, but it's all quite good-spirited and doesn't actually reflect any of my own views. Since I don't have a solid story figured out for HSH but, instead, a basic idea, I've been coming up with a number of ideas to advance and thicken the plot. I can say that it will involve aliens, giant space-dwelling grasshoppers, time travel, a renamed Earth (it'll be called Disney World), and an epic face-off between Adolf 2.0 and Santa Claus. It all sounds quite crazy and offensive and all that right now, I know, but I'm writing it because it's a completely wacko idea and it's original.
The Loyal, The Trustworthy, and The Honest
I've made it no secret that I used to be a dishonest person. I used to say stuff and not mean it and try to fit in like a fool who didn't know how to be himself. As soon as Grade 10 began, I knew things had to change and I learned a lot about trust, honesty, and loyalty. I've come to appreciate my surroundings and the people who want to be a part of my life because I also want to be a good and memorable part of theirs for as long as I possibly can; I don't want to be some fake personality who tries to please everyone. By being ourselves, we can tell who our real friends and, unfortunately, enemies are. Truth be told, I don't have many enemies to boot and I don't intend to make many in my life. I've made mistakes. We all make mistakes. For a long time I've been trying to redeem myself and, through doing so, I have learned so much about my friends, my family, and my own life; I know now that I want to do my best and be myself because that'll be worth so much more to the people around me and myself in the end.
And So...
Life goes on. It's so great right now and I'm extremely happy. I have amazing friends, a fantastic girlfriend, and a wonderful family. I know my post tonight has had a bit more of a profound twist to it but, with everything going on lately, I think I just needed a little review to put things into perspective and really bask in the moment (not that I'm bragging). I'm in love with life now more than ever and I appreciate it. Now, instead of doing my homework, I will go text Charlotte and read a couple pages of Batman: Year One. After that, I might read some of Dracula for English and I most definitely have to study for my Biology test tomorrow... Anyways, this is the Fro signing off; I shall return soon, I'm sure.
Well, saying it's been a little while since I've written here would probably be a bit of an understatement... That being said, I just love how reflective this whole blog-keeping activity really is; it's almost therapeutic actually. A lot of things have happened over the time between this post and my last... some bad things, some good things. Nonetheless, there have been some awesome times and a whole new chapter of my life is in it's earliest stages.
The Greater Good
To be completely blunt, my parents separated around the beginning of August (if I recall correctly). Honestly, it was an extremely emotional time for the first week or so but, while things may still be a little emotionally shaky, my brother and I have both come to terms with it, I think. I'm finding that the house feels a little empty now that my Dad isn't living here (and despite the fact that we still see him); my Mom has her good days and her bad days but, whenever Dad comes to visit or help out with something, it seems like everything ends in some kind of argument. We've decided to move, although we're not entirely sure where to or when we'll be doing so; we've been cleaning out the basement and getting things ready for a big sale we'll have sometime in the early fall. I know that the whole process of moving has really put a lot of stress on my parents and is probably the reason they seem to argue so often, but it really isn't helping us complete our goals and it makes me quite upset when we're in the middle of doing something and they start firing back and forth between each other; it also adds to the emotional gravity of the situation and brings us down. I really don't want to be that typical teenage kid in the middle of his parent's separation that ends up hating his parents because of their arguing (and I'll never truly hate my parents, I mean, how could anyone?), but it really does bother me when I have to sit there and listen to my Mom and Dad do that! Anyways, I don't want to broadcast this to the whole world cause I'm not entirely sure they'd appreciate that, but I needed somewhere to vent or else I was gonna explode!
Plans Discontinued
So, I've been looking back at all my posts and I've realized how little I've accomplished of what I originally set out to do when the summer started; I wanted to go places, talk to people, and do so many different things!!!! What the hell happened?! I haven't hung out with Emma (who remains a mystery woman to me), I haven't gotten Hazel back to hangout with again, and I haven't written half of the stuff I had ideas for in the first place (although I have written some things). I mean, I'm almost completely disappointed with my lack of persistence and determination this summer when it comes to going out of my way to do things... I've really just let all of my plans fall-through. That being said, school's gonna be here in less than a week, and I'm sure that'll create an abundance of new plans somehow; I find myself a little more disappointed because I won't be doing BMT or Drama this year, two courses I have fallen in love with. Besides all of that bad news, I'm still looking forward to my courses and to seeing all of my friends again.
The Dark Odyssey
Considering there hasn't been a lot of good things coming out of this summer, I've been extremely creative in terms of writing and ideas for novels or screenplays. Upon speaking to my friend Clark (who slept over for the first time a few nights ago), it was refreshing to learn that he also writes screenplays and that, despite how rare it truly is find others around our age, I'm not the only one who writes full screenplays for films that I'd love to see come to fruition. Recently, I've finished the screenplay for the first episode of A Killer Among Us, started writing an outline for a sequel to my Mortal Kombat script with the help of my friend Shawn,and have begun working on an untitled screenplay based on the internet meme Slender Man. I've also written the prologue for a novel I'm working on titled The Dark Odyssey and have been ironing out a few ideas for Insanity's Bride and some unrelated poems and songs about love, life, and death. Speaking of Insanity, I haven't seen Sharon or Matt in a very long time; I'm guessing this might have something to do with Matt going into college this year, meaning it could be just Sharon and I working on the project for a while. On an unrelated note, I've discovered some old writing pieces that I worked on back in my early days of public school and, I have to say, they're kind of hilarious (compared to my writing now, that is). Anyways, like I said, I've been extremely creative this summer and I've just stumbled upon some new ideas that I won't reveal quite yet because they're in their earliest stages of development.
Official cover to my novel-in-progress, The Dark Odyssey.
Un-official poster that I made for Insanity's Bride.
Old Habits vs. The Greater Good
I think I'm a compulsive liar. There, I said it. I mean, I've told so many little white lies in the past that their combined pressure has added up to the feeling of having told one big lie. I was watching The Breakfast Club for the first time (yes, I know, I can't believe I hadn't seen it before either) and the "weird" girl mentioned how she's a compulsive liar which made me suddenly realize that I may also be. Then, I was watching a marathon of Breaking Bad season 2 and Walter White was trying and cover up his lies with more lies causing his whole family to fall apart, I realized that some lies are much more necessary than others are and that, sometimes, it's the little unnecessary lies that come back to bite us in the ass. Lately, the only lie that's been bugging me has been that I told Hazel that I'm not a virgin when, in truth, I actually am; occasionally this presents a problem in the form of brief interactions between Hazel and those who know the truth, so I constantly try to steer the conversation away from sex, unless I'm alone with her (and that definitely is not meant the way it sounds).
The Cake Is A Lie
It's my Dad's birthday tomorrow and I intend to make him a card (despite my mother's idea of taking Dylan and I out to buy him one). I suppose I'll leave off by saying that I may not write again until school starts and that I rescued a den of kittens and their mother from Vauxhall Park with the help of my friend Mercedes just a few days ago; we took them back to her house and now they await a suitable home to be found for them.
First off, it ended up just being Hazel and I at the Sunfest last week (and remember that because I'm going to bring it up later). Next, I discovered that my Mom's friend Laura would be leaving her house under the care of my Mother (Laura has a pool, a fireplace, a pool table; a nice house in general) and I got the wonderful idea of inviting Emma over on the one Saturday when my Mom is going out and leaving the house to me! Now, my Mom kind of assumed I did it simply to have sex with Emma, but my intentions are not so basic (yes, I'd hit on Emma, but I'm pretty sure Emma wouldn't just give herself to me like that). I figured Emma and I could chill out, flirt a little, and have a really nice day... Well, now she's got plans on Saturday because that's when the auditions for the Seussical are!!!! Somehow, I need to make plans with Emma, but I guess I'll have to wait now because, if I keep pestering her to hangout with me, I might push her away and make her not want to hangout with me at all! Oh, and Shawn and I and Clark and Jordan saw The Amazing Spiderman...
Moving on, I've been having Shawn sleepover for the last few nights and we've had a great time every night; last night, we spent hours talking through a bunch of issues we both individually have in terms of relationships and our other friend, Anthony. Anyways, we got to talking and after uncovering a bunch of my feelings, he came to the conclusion that I love my ex-ex, Hazel.I was reluctant to admit it, but he was right; when he slept over the other day, I called Hazel and kind of told her how I felt. I suppose I did contain expressing some of my deepest emotions because she took control of the conversation and steered it in a much more formal direction whereas I was going for a bit more romantic... Jeez, thinking about it now makes me feel awkward. Nonetheless, I've gotten over most of my feelings for Hazel despite the fact that I was falling for her. By not telling Hazel my deepest feelings, I allowed us to remain just friends, and learnt that sometimes, if we truly care about our loved ones, we have to give up the thing we want the most to see them happy. Now, my romantic pursuit is focused solely on Emma, but first I must learn to back off and give her room to breathe.
Now, I sit here waiting and writing as Hazel is going to be coming over today. I'm proud to say that I'm not going to let my feelings get in the way of what I cherish more than anything right now: our friendship. If I can't be in a relationship with Hazel, then you can bet dollars to donuts that I'll remain an honest and trustworthy friend; it's my responsibility.
This will probably be a quick post, cause it's the middle of the night and I'm contemplating going to bed really soon. Anyways, I just wanted to update the blog considering school's been over for at least a week and a half now... What an amazing year. Just... wow. I've done so many things that I never thought I'd ever get to do for a very long time and it's been a fantastic second year of high school!!! The exams went really well... Basically everything in terms of academics went just wonderfully. Now that I've conquered grade 10 and summer is upon us, I've submitted a volunteer form for the Palace Theatre; I figured if I volunteer somewhere I could use my time wisely doing something I love AND get most of my volunteer hours out of the way (if they call me or e-mail me back that is). Beyond all that, summer is a wide open door right now that I intend to step through and explore like crazy! I just want to hangout with as many people as I can, and meet new people, see new places, have great conversations, and love, my god, love like I can't contain my passion and joy! I have so much energy pent up inside I just need a party or something so that I can let it all out and have fun!!! I digress, it's lookin' to be a fun summer...
Now, before I wrap this all up, I have to mention that I just came from one of the most epic sleepovers with the Rat Pack (Gonzalo, Matt, Zach, and I) that I've ever been too! We had a lot of deep discussions about women, life, and God (as per usual)... Gonzalo and I are putting plans together for a double date kinda thing where him and I take Sam and Emma to the Sun Fest on Thursday. To be completely honest, I think Emma is already busy and possibly outside of London at the moment, which could mean I might have to look for a different date... Oh well, I know I'll figure something out. Anyways, that's pretty much it for now... I'll probably update after the whole Sun Fest thing goes down. This is moi signing out...
Until next time, enjoy this video I created based on a fancast I did of our BMT class in Sweeney Todd.
Well, I
suppose it's been a while since I've posted anything. I've just been really
busy, tired, excited, and distracted from a lot of things. My mind has been
racing with thoughts of summer and finally getting to work on dozens of short
stories, novellas, andInsanity's Bride;and there have been thoughts in
regards to BMT, the exams, and, well...... Emma Heidenheim. Nonetheless, I'm
determined to stay focused and plow through these exams with skill and
confidence (although the very idea of the dance exam in BMT scares the hell out
of me... oh well). I have a lot to talk about... A lot to just vent into some
random place like this blog and get my thoughts and problems down somewhere
before I lose my freakin' mind!!!! In all seriousness though, I've been waiting
for a moment where I have the creative and physical energy to write something
here again and, after several encounters with Sharon where she's asked me whether I've updated
my blog, I realized that it was finally time to sit down and give it a go. Where
to start though...
What I Have In The Works...
I'll start with some writing projects I wanna write this summer because that'll be the easiest to talk about. A couple months ago I came up with an idea for a book series based around a plot that involves several people being teleported to an alternate Earth ruled by an elite society of zombies that despise humans; the plot would be a lot more complex by the end of the first book and I'd like to create a whole universe of characters and themes around the idea because it's slightly original and there would definitely be a lot of action involved.
Next, I came up with an idea for a short novella with a basic plot that goes as follows:
A group of young, pre-teen boys discover the dead body of a black man just on the outskirts of a small-town in Maine. After deciding to investigate, the boys uncover a plot by a local sect of the KKK, led by a man who strangely resembles Adolf Hitler, who plot to assassinate the President of the United States.
Yeah, so that's pretty much it for that idea. The novella would be like Stand By Me meets Apt Pupil meets Cycle of the Werewolf so it would be a complete tribute to the mind and work of Stephen King (a man who I admire beyond comprehension; his work never fails to impress and interest me).
I've also been slowly working on a script for a mini-series I'm writing called A Killer Among Us. Here's a rough plot synopsis to wet your appetite for a good horror-comedy:
Five years ago, Jacob Elworthy witnessed the
death of his parents at the hands of a madman. Now, Jacob lives out his daily
life as a casual serial killer, murdering on impulse to satisfy his need
of revenge; that is, until he breaks up with the love of his life and tries to turn over
a new leaf to impress her and get her back. Meanwhile, one of Jacob’s friends, Wade, starts to notice things
about Jacob that don’t add up and launches his own investigation into Jacob’s life,
putting Jacob at risk of being found out and exposed. As Jacob struggles to win back the affection of his love interest and Wade’s snooping, many more conflicts arise
that threaten to take everything away from him, leaving Jacob to question every
move he makes and cover his tracks carefully. Can Jacob ever live a normal life
now that he’s already dug such a deep hole?
So I have
a lot of projects in the works that, somehow, all involve death in one way or
another... I guess it's no wonder that I'm in love with the musicalSweeney Todd.
Finally, I came up with some
little title ideas for possible stories, and also came up with an idea for a
story about an alternate universe where men and women come from different
planets and, one day, a man lands on the woman-planet (or vice versa; I haven't
decided yet) and stirs up a lot of trouble and conflict of some kind. I'm thinking
it would share the same universe as theZombie
Planetseries but would only
reference it here and there... We'll see. On to other things happenin' in my
life......
Emma Heidenheim.
Who is she, you ask? Why, she's only the daughter of my Grade 9 music teacher... So you can imagine I might seem a bit cautious when talking about her or even to her!!! Just to clear the air of that one dreaded question that someone is obligated to ask even when it's obvious: yes, I do like Emma ("like" like, if you'd like). She's stunningly beautiful, her voice is mesmerizing and it's going to kill me just thinking about it! Anyways, the other day I sang my solo in BMT for some Adrian guy (who was really helpful and friendly) who's an actor that's worked on touring productions of Next To Normal and Julius Caesar or something like that, and he gave feedback and it turned out really well! The next day, Emma sang her solo and, as expected, blew us all away; afterwards, I congratulated her over Facebook and talked to her a bit and, to my surprise, she asked me for me number. My number! I was completely and utterly shocked, excited, scared, happy, and confused all at the same time... Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration of how I felt, but it was quite the good feeling. So, long story short, I gave her my number, she gave me hers, and now I'm just waiting for her to find her phone so I can call her during the summer and work my way out of the probable friend-zone (the only thing worse than that would be if she thought I'm gay; and, of course, there's nothing wrong with being gay, but I prefer the ladies). That's pretty much it so far. I don't want to plan on "making a move" or anything like that because anything like that should either be spontaneous or brought on by a dare from Zach or Gonzalo (which doesn't happen often to be honest... or not as much as it used to).
Nonetheless...
It's been a phenomenal year! I've worked with some of the most talented people at Beal and I'm proud to say that they've helped me and supported me as a performer and inspired in me the desire to improve my performance quality and extend my vocal and physical capabilities with practice and focus. I'll keep updating the blog if anything interesting happens during the summer... But who knows? There's so many possibilities and opportunities that I just can't wait to go out and seek excitement; I'll be safe, happy, and adventurous! I already have several camping trips in the works, possible hangouts with an assortment of my friends including Emma Heidenheim, and, like I said, I'm extremely excited to start expanding on all of my writing ideas (as I have even more than the few you've read about here); who knows whether I'll finish any one idea... Anyways, I'm just glad school is almost over, but I will be sad to say goodbye to BMT for a whole year. On that note, this is me signing off for now, with the hope that I return to my blog with words of wisdom, love, and adventure to share with the internet...
